Lance Armstrong Wants To Tell Nation Something But Nation Has To Promise Not To Get Mad | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

fuckyeahcycling:

wannabebikegirl:

LOVE IT. I love it SO MUCH.

“Okay, here goes,” Armstrong said. “Um, in the late ’90s and early 2000s, I took, um… You see, in order to give myself a better chance of winning, I… Yes, there were instances during the Tour when…”

That was my favorite part. Seriously. Well, and what happened next. But, seriously. THE ONION. So awesome.

YES! This was a pretty awesome article. My favorite:

Armstrong then took a deep breath, massaged his forehead, murmured “Oh boy, here we go,” and appeared for several moments to be on the verge of telling the nation his news. He seemed to lose his focus, however, commenting that it wasn’t as if anything he was about to say would diminish the fact that he beat cancer or that his foundation has donated more than $250 million to cancer research.

  1. apfelschorse reblogged this from fuckyeahcycling
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  4. billyam998 reblogged this from fuckyeahcycling and added:
    The cunt that is lance hasn’t even got the bottle to own up.
  5. christineliz reblogged this from fuckyeahcycling
  6. gilbogarbage reblogged this from fuckyeahcycling and added:
    Yeah I really don’t like Lance very much, but I love the Onion!!!!!!
  7. matthewjmason reblogged this from fuckyeahcycling and added:
    YES! This was a pretty awesome article. My favorite:
  8. fuckyeahcycling reblogged this from wannabebikegirl
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